The last time I saw Kate was the week before Valentines in ‘08. I drove four hours in a blizzard in my horrible old Toyota. The tires could barely handle the rain, let alone snow & sleet. For the tenth time that week we had a drag out screaming match, and I was deathly determined to get her things out of the place we shared. At this point she would barely take my calls, but I made her promise to pick up in a few hours…when, unbeknownst to her, I would be at her place. Only, when I got there she wasn’t home. I called furiously and we met up in the parking lot of the middle school two blocks away. And then we sat there. And we cried. And we screamed at one another And we sat in silence while Ryan Adams played softly on my stereo. There was no defining moment, no deep conversation, just the unsaid understanding. We both knew that that was it for us, despite her empty promise of coming down to see me in a few weeks. But we sat there for two hours barely saying much of anything. And I had to sit there and watch her drive off.
Two years later she was in town visiting old friends from school, and I somehow managed to have her agree to lunch. Awkward wasn’t quite the word for it. We talked about ourselves in vague, general terms. The vacations we went on and the jobs we’ve been doing. She asked if I was seeing anybody, and I couldn’t help but laugh. No matter how much time, distance, and women you put between you and your former love, they always want to know about the people you are with. Yeah, she planted a flag before the current ones, and made a larger impact than most, but I told her I wasn’t hers anymore.
I talked about Nicole, and mention that I’ve been playing the field a little bit, and she talked her guy. I pretended to listen, and pretended I cared. Apathy is a hell of a lot better than a pained soul over your ex being bent over backwards by another guy. We talked about how she hasn’t done much in terms of achieving her goals, and I was at a bit of a standstill with my own. After about forty five minutes we had just about politeness and we got the check, and I got an awkward hug and the distinct pleasure of having her watch me walk away this time.
No comments:
Post a Comment