Finding our fantabulous Blog via Google Vol.4

Another month has passed and that means it’s once more time for our Google special. You know, the one where we share what people googled whe they ended up here on our blog. Most of the time it’s just normal stuff like “Bella and Edward”, “Taylor Lautner naked” and stuff like that. But from time to time there are real gems which we just have to share with you. So this is Finding our Blog via Google Vol.4, enjoy! (Wow, I can’t believe we already run this site for four months…)

The 100 Monkeys and their banana mascot... SUCK!

taylor lautner on best abs list: There’s a best abs list? Like best dressed? Why didn’t I know about that? I’m a sucker for abs! I NEED that list. Immediately! Anyone having that list? Send it over! NOW!

how does bella give birth to renesmee: You don’t wanna know that. Not really. Trust me! You DON’T!

100 monkeys suck: Uhm yes, they do! You’re absolutely right here on our blog cause they suck BADLY. And I said so in a couple of post. And I won’t take it back. Sorry Jackson…

bella’s plaid shirt in eclipse: Rob, is that you? I KNEW you would like that shirt. But why do you have to google that? Did you forget to strip it off Kristen and take it home with you? Do you want it for yourself or as a present for her? Did she force you to get her that shirt? Uhoh, you better hurry up then or you’ll be stuck with La Stew sourpuss having every action between the sheets cancelled ifyouknowwhatimean.

Bella pregnant with a demon baby or Kristen with Rob's lovechild?

is bella pregnant in real life: Ah, I’ve prepared a whole post about that. Why are there so many people who just don’t get the difference? Bella Swan is a fictional character. Which means she doesn’t even exist in “real life”. If you mean Kristen Stewart, then the answer is no. She’s not pregnant with Rob’s lovechild… yet. (Just kidding, you know me. I don’t believe there’s ever going to be such a thing as a Rob and Kristen lovechild…)

http://mamasoul.wordpress.com: Omg, my mum has a blog? Are you kidding me? First of all, how did she find this blog here? Cause she must have, otherwise she wouldn’t know that I call her Mama Soul. I mean, obviously that’s not what I call her in real life. So she found out about this secret blog of mine and started one of her own? Do you think she posts super embarrassing childhood pics of me there? Honestly Mama Soul, what DO you do on your blog? I die if she makes fun of Twilight there…

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Off to check out Mama Soul’s secret blog

Soul

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These are only a few examples of what people google when they suddenly stumble upon our beloved blog. So how did you find our blog? Came across it by accident? Googled “Tom Sturridge and Robert Pattinson 4eva”? Let us know! Leave a comment or e-mail us!

(images: google)

[Via http://howtodazzle.wordpress.com]

POWER OUTRAGE - (humor)

At my recent assault trial, I offered a plea of “Guilty with an explanation…” The judge asked me what my explanation was, so I told my story.

“Your Honor,” I said, “I had a mammogram appointment, which I actually kept. I was met with: ‘Hi! I’m Belinda!’ This perky clipboard carrier smiled from ear to ear, tilted her head to one side and crooned, ‘All I need you to do is step into this room right here, strip to the waist, then slip on this gown. Everything clear?’

I’m thinking, ‘Belinda, try decaf. This ain’t rocket science.’ Belinda skipped away to prepare the chamber of horrors.

With the right side finished, Belinda flipped me (literally) to the left and said, ‘Hmmmm. Can you stand on your tippy toes and lean in a tad so we can get everything?’

‘Fine’, I answered. I was freezing, bruised, and out of air, so why not use the remaining circulation in my legs and neck and finish me off? My body was in a holding pattern that defied gravity (with my other breast wedged between those two 4 inch pieces of square glass) when we heard, then felt a zap!

Complete darkness and the power went off! ‘Oh, maintenance is working. Bet they hit a snag.’ Belinda said, and headed for the door.

‘Excuse me! You’re not leaving me in this vise alone are you?’ I shouted.

Belinda kept going and said, ‘Oh, you fussy puppy…the door’s wide open so you’ll have the emergency hall lights. I’ll be right back.’

Before I could shout ‘NOOOO!’ she disappeared. And that’s exactly how Bubba and Earl, maintenance men extraordinaire, found me… half-naked with part of me dangling from the Jaws of Life, and the other part smashed between glass! After exchanging a polite ‘Hi, how’s it going’ type greeting, Bubba (or possibly Earl) asked, to my utter disbelief, if I knew the power was off.

Trying to disguise my hysteria, I replied with as much calmness as possible ‘Uh, yes, yes I did thanks.’

‘You bet, take care’ Bubba replied and waved good-bye as though I’d been standing in the line at the grocery store.

Two hours later, Belinda breezes in wearing a sheepish grin. Making no attempt to suppress her amusement, she said, ‘Oh, I am sooo sorry!’ The power came back on and I totally forgot about you! And silly me, I went to lunch. Are we upset?’

And that, Your Honor, is exactly how her head ended up between the clamps….”

The judge could hardly contain her laughter as she said ‘Case Dismissed!!’

[Via http://lockdoc1.wordpress.com]

Your dressed and undressed girls, girlfriends, teens, women and wives – 25/02/10

Your dressed and undressed girls, girlfriends, teens, women and wives – enjoy!

[Via http://dressedundressed.wordpress.com]

The Systematic Assassination of Comedic Genius Leonard Alfred Schneider

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Going Green

Magazine: Amica, May 2009, Germany Model: Aline Nakashima

[Via http://scriptical.wordpress.com]

Vera Vision Sneak Peek--Naked Yoga III (NSFW)

Sarah knew Carlos was freaky. He just looked like he would be the type that would have a woman’s body in all sorts of fucked up positions doing some kinky-ass shit she would probably be ashamed to admit later. But that was the also part of the reason why she and every other woman was so attracted to him. He made a girl want to do the freaky-deeky naughty shit.

Sarah was that girl.

They say the quiet ones are the worst and Sarah quietly snickered at the thought. There was no other explanation why she was laying on her back, spread eagle and holding her ankles.

“Don’t be nervous,” Carlos spoke quietly as if he read Sarah’s mind, “if you feel uncomfortable, I’ll stop anytime.”

“Okay,” she replied meekly, still unsure what was happening.

Carlos was now at a doggystyle-type position, with all of his weight balanced between his arms and thighs. He shifted his weight to his right arm as his left hand slid his cock inside Sarah’s eager pussy. Once he was in, Carlos gently sat back as if he was sitting on top of her. He began rocking ever-so-gently letting Sarah get used to the new friction. She didn’t need too much time.

Between Carlos rocking in between her legs and having them stretched-out far and wide, Sarah was in orgasmic heaven. Carlos gently eased his cock in and out at first but soon picked up a furious thrusting pace.

[Via http://veraroberts.wordpress.com]

The monthly poll winners: 1st time impression, what do u look for?

So the winner of 1st time impression, not suprisingly is that we do check out the breast more than anything else. 30% breasts with the face coming second with 24% out of 46 votes. Not that many but don’t think it would change that dramatically with more people voting

So enjoy these ones but please people, do look the girls in the eyes now and then

 

 

View This Poll
polls

[Via http://erotixx.wordpress.com]

Update / and a great pic of xbow/latex/ringmail girl

Have been so neglected my blogging duties, have been stuck on a stupid/silly Facebook game called Kingdoms of Camelot building an empire. I so have to get treatment for this sickness. I personally thank Bob Patterson for sending a reminder that the blog still exist…

So let’s start today with a great one of Anne Duffy, where can u go wrong with crossbows/ringmail/latex/boots and a gorgeous girl, nothing whatsoever…

[Via http://erotixx.wordpress.com]

Day 98 (2/11/10): Catch 22

Some men are born mediocre, some men achieve mediocrity, and some men have mediocrity thrust upon them.

Theres a long list of mostly humorous aspirations for this project that is coffee-stained and sitting on my desk. This list remains mostly unfulfilled, but I had the opportunity to really hit one out of the park. The classic sitcom situation of having two dates in the same night, in the same place. I was pretty much gearing up to do this the night before. I talked to two different “fans” and was working on meeting with them at one of my usual haunts, two hours apart. To be even more upfront about it, I had more then two options I was sussing out, and seeing what bit, what didn’t and what gave me the right kind of back and forth. These are the things when I have an excess of caffeine and a very low amount of work.

I went to get dinner with a friend, and started shooting the shit, and grabbing a few beers. I figured I had the whole night, even though it’s a Thursday. I wanted to really enjoy the 98th day of this, and maybe keep em on the ropes, but I got in my own way, as I’m want to do. I got a little more swamped (read: drunk) than I would have liked. Naturally, this would be primer for two coats of brunettes in my evening, but I wasn’t feeling stirred and ready to go. I kept buying rounds, putting it off later and later.

I arrived around the bar around 9, and was about to call one, both, either, of them, but just put my phone on silent and ordered a Makers. I went to text, Nicole, but was either too drunk or too sober to go for it. I did the same for Kara, but that one was definitely due to sobriety. I shut my phone off, content to isolation and the death of any semblance of a sober cell. There was a cute bartender that I didn’t bother initiating conversation that didn’t include a drink order. I painted myself a pretty drunk, but I just didn’t have the energy to both approaching anything. I just kept ordering more Rye and thinking about the whole thing.

Since about Day 2, I’ve been constantly getting comments, queries, and concerns about what happens when it’s done. Or what happens if I fall for somebody during this. I’m in a pretty non-commital relationship, a pretty fucked-up fuck-buddy situation, and a few random girls that kind of took me by surprise. I started feeling like I had to do something with myself to make it all worthwhile. I had to throw myself through the gauntlet and come out the hero. So I walked up to a pair of girl’s, hoping one of them would at least be Nately’s whore, but I wound up apologizing for the disturbance after two minutes and retreated back to my glass.

[Via http://100girls100days.com]

A Brief History Of Vibrators.

I learned something today.

Did you know that the vibrator was the fifth household appliance to be electrified.  It was invented in the 1880’s, to treat a medical condition, known either as “congestion of the genitalia” or “Female Hysteria”

From Wikipedia. “For centuries, doctors had been treating women for these illnesses by performing what we would now recognize as masturbation. However, not only did they regard the “vulvular stimulation” required as having nothing to do with sex, but reportedly found it time-consuming and hard work”

Those poor doctors!!  I can just see it now.

“Another Doctor’s bill darling?  Are you unwell, that’s the fourth time this week!”

“I know sweetheart, I am feeling a little poorly, but the Doctor works hard, and I do feel better after seeing him”

“Well what does he do to you?”

“Stimulates my vulva and genitals, until I feel a release of tension.”

“Rather him than me, poor hard-working bastard…”

Again, from Wikipedia: The home versions soon became extremely popular, with advertisements in periodicals such as Needlecraft, Woman’s Home Companion, Modern Priscilla, and the Sears, Roebuck catalog. These disappeared in the 1920s, apparently because their appearance in pornography made it no longer tenable for polite society to avoid the sexual connotations of the devices.

Awesome!!  I laughed a lot during this article!!

There are links also to Wank Week.  I think that this event is worthy of inclusion in the Olympics!  Have a read, it is wonderful stuff!!  Absolutely Gripping!!

Let me know if you are interested in participating in Wank Week, and we will see if we can set something up.

Love Chiquita

x

www.cheapsextoys.co.nz

No Complaints, Only Moans.

[Via http://cheapsextoysonline.wordpress.com]

John Mayer says 'Ni**er' and shocks the world *Yawn*

John Mayer was interviewed for Playboy Magazine and made some statements that disturbed more than a few people on the internet… the thing is, the context he says it in is that saying hood pass is no more acceptable than saying ni**a pass.

While it was a blatant blunder to use the term, we know what he is trying to say right? The only thing I find myself holding against him is the whole ‘my d*cks a white supremacist’ thing. Everyone has their preferences John, but the term ’supremacist’ suggests a feeling of superiority…

Here’s John’s quote:

If you understood that, then you can see its not really offensive. Most people have personal preferences when it comes to the race of their partners.

Re: using the ‘N word’ in an interview: I am sorry that I used the word. And it’s such a shame that I did because the point I was trying to make was in the exact opposite spirit of the word itself. It was arrogant of me to think I could intellectualize using it because I realize that there’s no intellectualizing a word that is so emotionally charged. And while I’m using today for looking at myself under harsh light, I think it’s time to stop trying to be so raw in interviews…It started as an attempt to not let the waves of criticism get to me, but it’s gotten out of hand and I’ve created somewhat of a monster. I wanted to be a blues guitar player. And a singer. And a songwriter. Not a shock jock. I don’t have the stomach for it. Again, because I don’t want anyone to think I’m equivocating: I should have never said the word and I will never say it again.

Read more: Necole Bitchie.com: John Mayer Apologizes For Using The “N” Word

[Via http://fresherhouse.wordpress.com]

The Ashley Greene Evolution in pictures

After I posted the link to the Michael Sheen / Ashley Greene interview yesterday I had a closer look at it myself again. That’s when I saw the photos I had unsuccessfully tried to forget about. So now I feel like I finally got to say it out loud. Ashley Greene, what happened to you?

There was a time when I could look at pictures of you for hours thinking all the time “Oh how I wish this was me. How I wish I would look like that…”. Those super classy subtly sexy photoshoots you did, awesome. But what happened then? I don’t know. You tried to cover up the fact that you were in fact naked in during the SoBe photoshoot by talking about Skinsuits. We mentioned that we wondered where the hell your nipples had gone though and tadah, there they are again next to Michael Sheen’s interview with you. I try to avoid the word slutty here but those Interview Magazine pics really kinda remind me of a Dom themed Playboy photoshoot.

Plus Kellan and Ryan Seacrest talking about being “in Ashley’s box” all the time? Seemed like they knew what they were talking about… Then the Marie Claire pics. To be honest, some of them screamed “I’m just another prostitute waiting for my next client to come up”… Sorry to say!

And of course we got the fatal naked mobile shoot you did yourself. I could never understand how girls take pics like that and think they will not leak sooner or later but rather sooner on the internet. I have no idea who is the guy that you sent those to and it doesn’t really matter. I’m not posting the “real” naked ones here. Cause I kinda like you too much for that. And cause I would feel kinda 2nd-hand-embarrassed. Just let me say that there indeed IS a full frontal complete nudity snapshot. Of which I hope no one will ever find it on my harddrive along with all those other pics of you I keep for blog purposes. Honestly Ashley, looking at all those pics you did lately makes me sure your sex-tape is going to leak before Rob’s does. Maybe even as soon as… let’s say… february 11th when you show Taylor how it’s done (that’s what she said). I don’t hope so though. Or at least give us Rob’s first so that we got something to distract us… So let’s make a deal! I will not mention those slutty photos of you ever again and you will start to become a little more classy and SUBTLY sexy again. Like in that great photoshoot you did with Rachelle (Oh how I miss her!).

Really, I love those pics of the two of you! It’s the kind that makes you either wanna go (fake-)lesbian or be BFFs. I choose the BFFs, okay? Deal? K, great! Done!

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Off to hang out with my new BFFs

Saveyoursoul

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So what do you think about the Ashley-evolution? Like the new hardcore sexy pics? Like the old ones better? Taken aback that there indeed is a full frontal nudity snapshot where you can see EVERYTHING that leaked on the internet? What are your favorite Ashley pics ever? Tell us in the comments or via e-mail! Oh and participate in our RAZZIE CONTEST!!!

(images: google)

[Via http://howtodazzle.wordpress.com]

Personality vs apparence

First I just want to thank you all for some great answers to my last blog entry, every idea and opinion you come with is well appreciated! And seeing since you all were ever so good answering my two questions posted yesterday, I thought I would ask a few more,  related to the others. Gives all of you something to think about, since being thoughtless ain’t all that fun.

If the way we dress reflects upon our personality, do we then loose who we are when we are naked?

How could we keep a sense of personality viewable for others while undressed?
(Not sure who would see you naked tho)

Discuss!

[Via http://dougielee.wordpress.com]

Banker Caught Looking At Semi-Nude Photos On Live TV

An Australian banker is in hot water after being filmed looking at semi-nude photos of a model while a colleague was doing a television interview nearby.

He could be seen clicking on photos of Miranda Kerr in the background of the Channel 7 interview on Tuesday with an analyst for Macquarie Private Wealth.

The footage soon made its way on to YouTube and became a huge hit.

Macquarie Private Wealth, however, was not amused and said it was taking the matter very seriously.

The images of Ms Kerr could clearly be seen during the Channel 7 interview, only at the end of which does the banker turn to the camera and realise he has been filmed.

A Macquarie statement said: “Macquarie has strict policies in place surrounding the use of technology and the issue arising from the live cross on Seven News is being dealt with internally.”

The banker in question, David Kiely, a mid-level client investment manager, has reportedly been meeting executives to determine his future.

His colleague, Martin Lakos, had been discussing interest rates in the Channel 7 interview.

A spokesman for Channel 7 said it had expressed its concerns to Macquarie over the incident.

The Australian said Macquarie’s human resources department had e-mailed all 11,500 staff around the world with its internet policy, telling them to “familiarise themselves” with it.

[Via http://alindenauer.wordpress.com]

Snooki Also Posing Nude?

Not only is J-WOWW in the news for nude photos, now Snooki supposedly has nude photos on the market. Here is the Snooki story on Radaronline.com http://www.radaronline.com/exclusives/2010/02/exclusive-snooki-nude-photos-sale I hate to break it to everyone that wanted to see Snooki naked, but it seems this rumor might be false. She had this to say about Radaronline, “Idk where radar online comes up with their stories..weirdos.” Snooki also said “Like i said before about my supposed ’sex tape’…There are no nude pictures nor will there ever be. the tabloids just love snook gossip ;]” She has to be telling the truth, there would be no reason to say the rumors were false. If they’re out there, then she would know about it and they’re obviously not if she is saying they are not.

[Via http://glamourslamour.wordpress.com]

Open Tip

the idea of this contraption is deliciously naughty

wear a bra that exposes your nipple

wearing a thin blouse over something like this

NICE – and VERY distracting

i think it’s brilliant

unfortunately it did nothing to lift those nipples so that they were pointing in the right direction

for this larger breasted anonymously nude lady

that wasn’t going to work

I may be on the search for the perfect open tip bra with support

just to get back to that distracting deliciously naughty feeling

any ideas?

[Via http://anonymouslynude.wordpress.com]